Hello!

So it turns out as a 31 year old (and single) vagina owner, I have Vaginismus. I had to struggle for thirteen years to get that diagnosis and to be able to type those three words. It hasn't miraculously cured me, but it is a weight off my shoulders. I know that it is real, I know what to call it, and I am undergoing treatment.

Vaginismus is a psychosexual condition characterised by excessive tightening of the vaginal muscles in response to some type of penetration. Basically this means that whenever I try to have sex or even insert a tampon, I feel severe pain. It's an unconscious response, so it isn't something that I can control.

I've started this blog because living with Vaginismus can be pretty isolating. It has become a huge part of my identity (I'm working on evicting it) and yet it is a part of myself that I don't share with anyone. Looking back over the past decade I can see that it has affected me in ways that I didn't even realise at the time. It shattered my self worth during my twenties and I let that impact all of my relationships and also my career. I'm slowly turning this all around. At the speed of a sedated tortoise, but progress is progress. I have now shared my 'story' with two whole actual persons, with encouragement from a bottle of merlot.

I plan to write about the good, the bad and the funny stuff that happens. Like the time I had a Botox injection into my vagina and it exploded across the room (the syringe, not my vagina), or the time when I wrote on a forum about female sexual liberation before realising it was a conservative Christian forum.

I hope that other people can connect with what I write and maybe even say hi. The more we speak about it, the more we support each other. Raising awareness also means the people who come after us will hopefully have a smoother journey.

Thanks for stopping by, happy to have you along for the ride!